These are the days when this life gets to me.
When I’m just a little stressed and sharing it with him would make it all better. I freaking miss my husband.
When the oven dies in the middle of cooking dinner, he’d be the one getting angry for no reason instead of me. I freaking miss my husband.
When my day has been long, and I know that even though his was as well he would offer to take on story time so I can get a break. Then he would stay upstairs for two extra stories because daddy’s girl asked him to. I freaking miss my husband.
When first days of school are being had. Last first day in junior high. Last first day in preschool. Possibly last first days in Washington. I freaking miss my husband.
When I wake up in the morning, and it’s cold. When my bed is much colder than when I laid down alone the night before. I freaking miss my husband.
I have nothing to complain about really, and I know that. The stress is from a job I choose to do. The oven will be replaced on the owner’s dime. Story time is precious, and last first days aren’t that big of a deal. But all of these things are our things, and having them without him is simply one more reminder of the cold, hard fact that he isn’t here.
I have nothing to complain about because I am so proud of him. Because we’ve done this before and will do it again. Because I know all the tips and tricks. Because I know he will come home again … safe and sooner than most.
I have nothing to complain about … I just freaking miss my husband.