I woke up this morning and knew within moments what day it was.
Second Guess Yourself Tuesday.
My first thought of the day was, “Should I have gotten up earlier? Is it right to ask the teens to make their own lunches?”
I stumbled out of bed and into the family room and thought, “Am I spending enough time with the kids individually? Do they really know how much I love them? Am I affectionate enough?”
As I watched Sydney walk up the street to her bus stop, I wondered, “Am I really doing everything I can to help her have success in school? Does she know I’m proud of her all the time anyway?”
The morning has continued in much the same direction …
“Should I have tried harder to make it to that class I missed?”
“Was I really fair when I said that?”
“What did she mean by that? Was it rude, or am I just being overly sensitive?”
“Should I have been nicer, more caring, more nurturing?”
“Am I the example of the kind of woman I want my girls to grow into?”
“Am I being true to who I am? Am I trying to become something I’m not, or is this just growth is new direction? And how can I really know the answer to THAT?”
It’s “Second Guess Yourself Tuesday,” and frankly, it sucks. I am a take-charge, I-can-do-this, don’t-look-back kind of gal … usually. I try hard to make good decisions and give things careful thought … mostly. I make mistakes and own up to them …generally speaking. I’m not perfect, and I know it … always. I am okay with me, my life, and my decisions … for the most part.
But today is “Second Guess Yourself Tuesday,” and today I just don’t know.
P.S. The stove top cleaning post will have to come later this week … It wasn’t the success I wanted it to be so I’m working on some alternatives … I hope.