I’ve been feeling kind of blah lately … very blah in fact. I don’t know if it’s the weather or the post-holiday blues. Perhaps it’s the middle-of-the-school-year slump? Or maybe I’ve just been living inside my head too much and really, really need to get outside of myself (<– probably that last one), but in the midst of the blah I have and haven’t been doing stuff.
Gee, Jodi. That’s totally interesting and blog-worthy. Just kidding. It’s totally not.
But it is, and I am blogging about it because my have and haven’t list has been a little out of whack lately, and I just feel like sharing.
I have been running, and it has been awesome. I ran a 5k a few weeks ago, and I completed week 5 of the Couch to 5k with a 20-minute run in the rain. These days, running is my sanity. The blah is much worse when I can’t get a mile or two in.
I haven’t been writing … at all. I haven’t been posting here. I haven’t been writing without posting. I haven’t had very many ideas to write, and the few I have had petered out pretty quickly. To be honest, I started writing a list of writing prompts a few days ago and couldn’t find the inspiration to finish that. Sad. I can’t decide if the blah is causing my writer’s block or if the writer’s block is a cause of the blah. Regardless the outcome is the same. My poor little blog is ignored, and I am blah.
I have been arguing with my kids a lot lately, and I have been yelling a lot lately. Clean your room! Put your clothes away! Finish your homework! Stand up straight! Chew with your mouth closed! Clear your place!
Not all have’s are positive, and sometimes they beget haven’ts that aren’t that positive either. I haven’t been patient. I haven’t listened. I haven’t even wanted to play or read.
Those are the ones I’m writing about today. Because my blah … regardless of the cause … is throwing my have and haven’t list outta whack, and well, you know how they say,
Well, yeah … that. I like to think we are generally a pretty happy silly household, but when mama’s got the blahs, the whole damn house is off kilter.
Luckily, I also have a pretty awesome husband and three pretty amazing kids who understand my blah, and they have been pretty patient with me. They know my blah is temporary, and they know that my off-kilter will be back on-kilter (is that a thing?) momentarily. I am writing today which is a good sign. All three kids are playing dolls quietly on the floor behind me which is a minor miracle so there has been no reason to yell or argue or lose my mind. I haven’t run today, but the sun is out and for some reason, I feel … not blah.
I don’t know if it’s the sunshine or the end of a slump or even just a temporary reprieve from the blah of it all. Whatever it is, I’ll take it. So I think I will just stop here and go do some stuff … enjoy a quiet moment with my husband, read to my kids, listen to them, run, something … anything … that I can later put on a more positive have and haven’t list.
Because in this reprieve from the blah, however temporary, I am made vividly aware that my most important haves are sitting on the floor and the couch right behind me